I’ve been noticing “Ski the East” bumpers stickers since I got here. Now, there are no corresponding “Ski the West” bumper stickers I’ve ever seen. Folks generally agree that the skiing in Wyoming, Colorado, Utah, et al, is pretty OK.
So, I thought the slogan seemed oddly rah-rah, almost Midwestern in its enthusiasm. Like the zeal displayed by Cawker City, Kansas, home of the World’s Biggest Ball of Twine. Having been there, I can confirm, that is one giant ball of twine, and they are proud of it. If you go in summertime, the helpful docent will hand you a line of twine, and you can circle the ball to help make it bigger still. I like that. I appreciate conviction wherever I find it.
The point is, my experience is that the people of New England generally shrug off such overt displays of enthusiasm. Take the Boston Massacre site. You know, the place that sparked the powder keg of the American Revolution, altering the course of human history? It’s commemorated today by a dull brick marker embedded in a nondescript sidewalk downtown. No signage, no fanfare. It’s mainly identifiable by the throngs of confused-looking tourists obviously expecting something more … grandiose.
Nope! This is Boston, people. You get what you get, and you will like it. Or, you know, don’t. We don’t care.
I have formulated an equation to explain this phenomenon, which I like to call the Yankee Formula:
h + d(q) = Y
where the variable “h” represents “This is Hard,” the variable “d(q),” stands for “Deal With It, Quietly,” and the “Y” represents “Yankeedom.”
Variations on “h” include “t” (Traffic); “c” (Clouds 117 Days in a Row); “s” (Snow and/or Sky-High Cost of Living); and also “cr” (Crowds Everywhere at All Times). Each hardship is to be met with a Yankee shrug that implies, “Hey, if you find this all too much, maybe you’d be better off in Scottsdale?”
I appreciate the stoicism, I do. The country I come from out West is hard, too, in very different ways. Game recognize game. Fist bump.
So that’s why I found the “Ski the East” bumper stickers a touch jarring. What’s going on there? Ball of Twine Gusto? Pride? A plea to keep dollars local? Are the slopes in decline?
I can report, friends, that they are not. No, the slopes are in very good shape. At least the ones at Mount Snow, Vermont, are looking good. That’s where the family headed for some winter break skiing.
A storybook mist hung about the peaks the morning we arrived. The chairlift rode us straight into the fog, a storybook thrill. The runs were excellent and long, the slopes varied and well-groomed. I can see how you might get a little enthusiastic about the place.
It is true that the snow was icy and hard compared to the powder you find out West. That just means you have to work a bit harder to stay in control. Or, if you are my kids, it means you zip ahead at top speed, leaving your old man to carefully slalom his way down.
Look, my main goal on the day was not to break the land speed record. My goal was to get to the end of the day without breaking a leg. I did take a few tumbles, which I tried to be quiet about, even as I muttered a few choice and unprintable phrases under my breath.
All a perfect application for the Yankee Formula. Icy snow made for an “h.” The tumbles gave me the opportunity to practice “q.” The drive to Mount Snow of course acquainted us with “t.” I experienced the “sky-high cost” portion of “s” — taking the family skiing for a day cost more than my mortgage back in Wyoming. We also experienced the “cr,” because not only were the slopes crowded, but everyone else in New England seemed to be in the lodge that day, clomping around in boots.
It was nonetheless a sublime day. The sun came out, the skiing was sensational, and the slopes compared favorably with any I’ve skied out west. Of course there were crowds! Who wouldn’t want to be in such a place on a day like that?
So go on and Ski the East, friends. You can even be a little rah-rah about it.
As always, if you’ve got an idea upon which I can embark for a Marblehead First Time, drop me a line at court.merrigan@gmail.com.
Wyoming transplant Court Merrigan is still a relatively new Marblehead resident. His column “My Marblehead First Time” appears regularly in the Current.
Court Merrigan
Wyoming transplant Court Merrigan is a new Marblehead resident. His column “My Marblehead First Time” appears regularly in the Current.
