Parenting coach Lizzie Assa says that the tide is turning on how parents want to raise their children — which is embracing the simpler approach of days gone by.
“Parents are exhausted from treating childhood like a resume-building project, and the results — anxious, overwhelmed children — are impossible to ignore,” said Assa.
A Marblehead Current columnist and former nursery school teacher, Assa has written her first book, “But I’m Bored!,” which will be published in January, where she guides parents on how to foster simple, independent play vital to children’s development and imperative for the sanity of parents. She encourages parents to step away from hustle-culture.
“You can let go of the six activities,” she said. “Kids need time to relax.”
Drawing from a vast online platform, Assa says that she has learned from the thousands of families she has coached that parents are stressed and burnt out from the cultural demand that they must entertain their kids 24/7, and that the children are paying a price, too.
“Kids being told what to do, when to do it and how to do it doesn’t leave any room for them to build on their own personal skills,” she said.
Assa and her family moved to Marblehead three years ago and now live in her husband David’s childhood home. They have three children — the oldest who is attending his first year at Purdue University, a daughter, who is at Marblehead High School and the youngest daughter, a sixth grader, who attends the Village School. While raising her young family as a stay-at-home mom after leaving her teaching job behind, Assa opened an in-home play and arts studio for about a year, which she says was very successful. She began taking pics of her studio work and posting about it on her new blog and on social media.
“I quickly realized that I could turn this concept into an online business and still be home with my kids,” she said.
The Workspace for Children website was born about 10 years ago, which has parlayed into a community of over 219,000 followers on Instagram for Assa and a top 35 best-selling Substack — a publishing platform for independent writers and creators — reaching thousands of parents globally.
Recent studies have shown rising rates of anxiety and depression in children, according to Assa, but she has seen this phenomenon through the eyes of the families she’s guided.
“They’re watching their kids struggle with stress and perfectionism at younger and younger ages; seeing the homework meltdowns, hearing the same stories from other families,” said Assa. “The research is there, but parents don’t need a study to tell them something is off. They’re living it. And that’s what’s finally pushing us to change course.”
Sarah Luck, who grew up in town and is raising her three children in town alongside her husband, began following Assa on social media several years ago and was captivated by her genuine and calm approach. Since following Assa’s guidance, Luck said that she left behind the pressures of taking on multiple activities.
“I really enjoyed her content and everything made sense to me,” said Luck. “It is truly mind-blowing that we as parents can make things simple for so much benefit.”
Part of Assa’s advice for playtime is setting out everyday items, like a mini-muffin tin, perhaps, and some playdough, said Luck. Or maybe a few pieces of paper where you draw some shapes and leave markers on a table for the kids to do their thing.
Luck said that children gravitate to the super simple setup, which lets them use their imaginations. Of course, her children have commercial toys, like a Barbie Dream House, for instance, but things have been scaled way back in her home, and she’s witnessed how keeping it simple works.
Assa promotes several strategies in raising independent, healthy children that you can find on her website, which offers digital guides for purchase, one-on-one parent coaching, playspace design consulting and both free and paid Substack membership.
A book launch event will be held at Hunt and Gather on Tuesday, Jan. 13 in collaboration with Saltwater Books, where Assa will be signing books and chatting with occupational therapist, Joann Sorg, of Marblehead’s The Power of Speech.
“But I’m Bored!” can be preordered at workspaceforchildren.com/ and on Amazon.
“I wrote this book as a mom and a warm, grounded friend,” said Assa. “I’ve listened, and I want to help parents shift their perspective a little bit. They can look into it and pick and choose at whatever stage they need it and what resonates with them.”
