My 7-year-old keeps complaining there’s “nothing to do” while literally surrounded by new stuff. “Yeah, there’s nothing to do!” my 5-year-old echoes as he trudges through the scattered magnetic tiles he begged for. Meanwhile, my 3-year-old stares at the iPad while sitting inside an empty cardboard box.
Part of me knows this is normal, post-holiday chaos, but there’s this nagging voice wondering if we overdid it with the gifts. I should delete my Amazon account, I think to myself as I scroll through credit card statements, each toy purchase turning my stomach. I wish I could go back and urgently correct my November self who thought buying all new holiday toys would solve the boredom that sets in each January.
Sound familiar? Let’s talk about why this happens and how to help your kids start playing.
Think about the last time you walked into a restaurant with a massive menu. You were so excited to grab dinner, but now you can’t decide what to get. You snack on some bread, drink your Diet Coke, and now nothing really looks that good. Your partner asks what you’re getting, and you want to snap at them… “I don’t know!” You wish they’d just pick for you.”
Kids feel the same way when faced with a slew of new toys. They want to play with everything, but it’s tricky to know where to start. Add in complex packaging, instructions they can’t decipher on their own, and it makes sense that they feel overwhelmed and avoidant.
What can you do to help?
— Make using their toys feel effortless and inviting by unwrapping everything completely and removing the bulky boxes and frustrating packaging. Set up just one or two new toys. Imagine arriving at that restaurant and finding golden brown fries, a grilled cheese cooked to perfection, and a fizzy Diet Coke waiting at the table when you sat down — that’s the feeling you want to create for your kids with their toys. Arrange their new puzzle on a corner table with a few pieces already connected, or before your child returns from school or wakes up from a nap, take a moment to set up a scene with their toys. This could be as simple as a line of their new cars up to a simple block structure.
— Young kids want to be near you, but that doesn’t mean you need to play with them. Be a boring presence in their play area or bring their toys into your area. Engage in your own activity like reading or listening to a podcast near their toys. Your proximity will subtly encourage them to start playing without direct intervention. When they ask you to play, tell them you are doing your work while they do theirs. Be boring but present and stay consistent with your answer.
— Combine the familiar with the new. When everything is novel, children tend to retreat to what’s comforting and familiar — like that cardboard box! Try merging their most-loved toys with new ones. Maybe their favorite dinosaur becomes the keeper of the new magnetic tile castle, or their cherished stuffed bunny gets to try out the new tea set first.
Remember that November self who thought new toys would solve winter boredom? Give her some grace. We’ve all been there, excited for the holidays and trying to prepare for those long indoor days ahead. Watching your 3-year-old ignore the expensive new toys while playing with that empty Amazon box is perfectly okay. They’ll play with their new toys another day.
Lizzie Assa is founder of The Workspace for Children, a parenting strategist, play expert and mother of three who lives in Marblehead.
