ENDING THE STIGMA: How doing nothing changes everything

I had a whole day to myself on a recent Monday. It flew by. When my husband called me late that evening he asked, “What did you do today?”

“Nothing,” I replied, wondering where the day had gone and how I could have gotten through an entire day without being more productive.

Have you ever felt this way? Like if you don’t have some big accomplishment at work to point to or a to-do list a mile long with check marks on at least 90% of them, you haven’t done much at all?
Or maybe all you’ve done is work and everything else has faded into the background by the time the dust of the day settles.

After my call, I started thinking, “That can’t be right. I feel good. I know I did a lot today.” Then I went about replaying the hours and observing my behaviors with a refined, Sherlock Holmesian lens.
The results …

I slept an extra hour.

I flossed.

I moisturized.

I looked in the mirror without makeup a few times and smiled at myself.●I said ‘I love you’ to my husband.

I listened to someone who was hurting.

I stopped and watched waves crash.

I burned sage and sat in silence.

I lifted weights.

I walked along the beach.

I watch a rabbit eat grass.

I appreciated my abundance.

I ate healthfully.

I hydrated.

I worked some, not too much.

I was creative.

I sat in the sun.

I read a novel (not the entire thing, but anything non-fiction is monumental).

These behaviors — though unremarkable — cannot be underestimated

Changing the game

Taking just a few minutes to reflect on this list completely changed my thoughts, my beliefs and my reality. When I replied, “Nothing,” I felt a lot of things, none of which were positive.

After this reflection, I felt proud of myself. I felt loved and cared for. I felt connected to the world around me and the people in my life. And I felt empowered and inspired to shine even brighter the next day.

Sometimes these seemingly insignificant actions can be more difficult to do and see because they’re not what the world dictates or expects from us. But they are needle-movers and game-changers.

I didn’t do anything on Monday. I slayed it. I didn’t “try” to do things I’m perfectly capable of doing (like we so often say about the behaviors we know we should do but just don’t, right?). I just did them. No negotiating, no “maybe tomorrows.”

Before you go to bed tonight

Grab your journal or iPhone (open a Note) and retrace your steps today, like I did above. Write down the behaviors no one may have noticed or were unremarkable and seemingly insignificant. As you reflect on the list, notice how it changes your thoughts about the day, your beliefs about yourself, and how you feel putting your head on your pillow and contemplating tomorrow.

The takeaway

The person you want to be is already inside of you. If you think or dream about a version of yourself you are wanting and waiting to become, know this: You are that person now.

The only difference between this version and that version is your thoughts, beliefs and behaviors. Manifesting is becoming who you already are. One choice at time, choose your thoughts, beliefs and behaviors — big and seemingly insignificant, and you’re there.

No more waiting to see if it happens, or trying to become something you’re not. The quickest way to manifest your best self is making small, consistent, conscious and intentional choices every single day. Not because they change you, but because they are you. The version of you that is always accessible.

Wendy Tamis Robbins is an anxiety expert, bestselling author of “The Box: An Invitation to Freedom From Anxiety” and founder of CAVE Club, a wellness community exclusively for professional women. She works globally as a mental health and wellness coach, speaker and advocate. She will be speaking and signing books at Shubie’s Marketplace on May 11 at 4 p.m.