Dear Lizzie:
How can I help my 4-year-old stay patient while we’re in checkout lines at places like Target or the grocery store? She isn’t in school full-time yet, so she often comes with me on errands, but it’s becoming stressful. We sometimes let her use our phones, but I’d like to find a better way to manage these situations. Any tips?
Dear reader:
Waiting in line can be hard for kids — heck, it’s hard for most adults! By the time you get to the checkout line, they’ve trailed you through the store begging for this cereal and that toy, hearing “no” all along the way. If you are like most parents, you’re probably a little frazzled by the time you make it to the checkout line, and so is your child.
The most effective way to quell a tantrum or a whining child is through connection. Acknowledging how hard it can be to wait makes them feel seen and heard.
Instead of saying, “If you don’t stand still, you won’t get a treat at the end.” Try this: “This line is taking a long time, it’s hard to stand still! Let’s play a game to help the time pass.”
Here are a few games to play while waiting in line with your kids:
— Predict which line will move the fastest. Encourage your child to share their reasoning based on observations. This builds logical thinking abilities.
— Let’s count all the blue things we can find! This scavenger hunt keeps eyes peeled and minds engaged.
— Tell me something without using words. Prompting non-verbal communication through movements, sounds or expressions is a fun brain teaser.
— Rhyming games. Take turns making up silly rhymes or seeing who can come up with the most words that rhyme with “cat” to keep little minds word-playing.
— Fortunately, Unfortunately. One person starts by saying “Fortunately…” and something positive, then the other says “Unfortunately…” and adds a negative event. You go back and forth creating an improvisational story full of twists and turns. This improves narrative skills.
Good luck, and remember, if you do decide to let your child play a game on your phone once in a while, that’s OK too. We do the best we can, and that’s enough.
Lizzie Assa is founder of The Workspace for Children, a parenting strategist, play expert and mother of three who lives in Marblehead.
