How can I get my toddler back into playing after an extended period of too much screen time? New baby, sicknesses and lack of childcare have led to too much TV, and now starting over seems impossible. She used to be so good at playing and now she just whines for TV.
Hi reader,
Please give yourself full permission to drop any lingering guilt about using screens as a parenting tool when you needed them. Parenting a sick toddler with a new baby and no childcare is no easy feat. Congrats on surviving that period. We do the best we can with the tools we have available to us and you did exactly that. You used a tool.
More good news — she will be back to happily playing soon.
When you decide you are ready to start over and get back to a play routine, be honest with your child:
“We’ve been watching so much TV lately! It was fun, right? Which one is your favorite show to watch? You know what else is fun? Playing with your toys and coloring and using playdough. Which do you like more, playdough or blocks? Playing is so important and you are good at it. It’s my job to make sure you have enough time every day to play. Today is going to be different than yesterday. Today, you can watch two shows after nap time, instead of watching all morning. Which shows will you choose? Let’s write that down so we remember that you want Bluey. Today, you get to play with toys until we go to the park! I can’t wait to see if you start with playdough, blocks, or dolls. Maybe you’ll even play a game about one of your favorite shows.”
Set up your home to support play over screens:
Put iPads, remotes and gaming devices away and out of reach. If your child is used to rolling into the living room and clicking on the TV, they won’t be able to. Replace the remote on the coffee table with a simple puzzle or some toy cars.
Expect your child to push back. It is their job to test the limit and your job to hold it steady. Allow them to whine and complain (you can too!). Respond by saying things like, “You miss watching Bluey. I do too! I wish I could turn it on right now, but your turn to watch is after nap time. It’s okay to be disappointed.”
At the end of the day, check in with your child. “Today was different. You played a lot and watched two shows. What felt easy and what was tricky about that?” (They are allowed to have their opinion, but it doesn’t mean you have to change your mind.) “Tomorrow we will do the same thing. Two shows after nap. What do you think you might want to start playing with in the morning when you wake up? Should I set up your crayons at the table so we can start coloring right after breakfast? “
Be excited and realistic. Eliminating a screen habit can feel like an insurmountable hill to climb. It will take some time and lots of patience, but you will both feel great when it’s sorted. Good luck!
Lizzie Assa is founder of The Workspace for Children, a parenting strategist, play expert and mother of three who lives in Marblehead.
