Surveys show that being healthier is consistently the most popular New Year’s resolution across the globe, starting with eating healthier, then exercising more, smoking and drinking less and, of course, losing weight. Then comes self-improvement, followed by psychological health (less stress, etc.). This sounds great until Jan. 12, which is when most people have given up on their resolutions.
Here are three reasons why we give up on our hopes and dreams in less than two weeks.
1. The motivational triad: This is the brain’s wiring to seek pleasure, avoid pain and be efficient. These motivators keep us alive but not necessarily healthy and happy. It can also do us a great disservice when it comes to creating lasting, sustainable change. Gone unchecked, it drives bad habits, avoidance, indulgence and even addiction.
2. Mindlessness: When we over-identify with current labels like “I am __” (anxious, overweight, lonely), that leaves little wiggle room for change and growth, creating what Harvard psychologist Dr. Ellen Langer calls “mindlessness.” She explains, “If something is presented as an accepted truth, alternative ways of thinking do not even come up for consideration … [for example] when people are depressed they tend to believe they are depressed all the time. Mindful attention to variability shows this is not the case.” This variability opens our mind to envisioning a new future, a new way of feeling and being, and even a new identity.
3.Present bias: This is where people choose smaller, immediate rewards rather than larger rewards that come later. It’s similar to the motivational triad, but here, we actually discount the value of what we do now and believe that our present actions won’t have an effect on our future. The reality, however, is the opposite. Making small deposits consistently over time, compound and create profound change and profoundly impact that healthier person you want to be.
When we imagine a new identity on Jan. 2, we’re motivated and fueled by the thoughts of this “New year, new me.” This is because we are actually getting a hit of dopamine (our happy pill) when we consider this new, healthier version of ourselves.
In a study done on people playing slot machines to see when their dopamine was at its highest, the results revealed it was highest right before they pulled the lever. This is our Jan. 2. The moment when all things are possible. Before the reality of doing what is necessary to actually be healthier kicks in. And it seems most of us can only tolerate that discomfort or just forget about that new identity entirely by Jan. 12.
But this research can be used to bypass these biases and help you through those moments of present discomfort. Staying focused on the anticipation of what’s to come can increase your dopamine and make the journey far more pleasurable when you’re eating an apple instead of cookies and driving to the gym at 6a.m.
If you are considering a healthier you this year, consider this call to action by Benjamin Hardy who wrote in his Harvard Business Review article called “Take Ownership of Your Future Self.”
“Start acting like the best version of yourself, and you will become that person. Because your identity drives your behavior, which over time creates your personality. What you focus on and identify with becomes who you are,” according to Hardy.
So many of us believe that our behaviors drive our identity. And they do if we are mindless as Langer suggested. We think, “I don’t know why I behave this way, it’s just who I am.” But it doesn’t have to be.
Harvard psychologist Dr. Daniel Gilbert says, “Your future self is not someone you discover or even become, but someone you decide to be.”
When we bring intention — This is who I want to be, choose to be and identify with — we drive our behaviors and create our new reality.
Wendy Tamis Robbins is an anxiety expert, bestselling author of “The Box: An Invitation to Freedom From Anxiety” and founder of CAVE Club, a wellness community exclusively for professional women. She works globally as a mental health and wellness coach, speaker and advocate.
Wendy Tamis Robbins
Marblehead resident Wendy Tamis Robbins is an anxiety expert, author, wellness speaker and coach. Learn more about her work at wendytamisrobbins.com.
