As Marblehead residents grapple with the tragic death of 13-year-old Savanah Gatchell and the arrest of a 16-year-old boy accused in the crash that killed her, local mental health professionals are sharing advice and resources.
Gatchell, who was about to enter eighth grade at the Veterans School, died early Aug. 19, when the car she was riding in crashed into a stone wall on Atlantic Avenue. The driver is charged with motor vehicle homicide, driving under the influence of alcohol and receiving a stolen car. The boy is in a psychiatric hospital and has been treated for mental health issues in the past, according to his attorney.
After such events, it is natural to feel a range of emotions, from grief to rage and judgment, according to local experts.
“Grieving the tragic and unexpected loss of a child is an unimaginably painful experience, and it is important to remember that there is no single ‘right’ way to grieve,” said Melissa Kaplowitch, Ph.D., of Marblehead. Kaplowitch is a licensed mental health therapist and assistant professor in psychology at Salem State University.
“Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance — offer a helpful framework, but they are not a linear path; rather, people may move back and forth between stages in different ways and at different times,” Kaplowitch said.
Licensed mental health counselor Adam Ciccio, who has two offices in Marblehead, added, “Trauma processing hits everyone differently. You might start with denial. Or it might be that you’re angry right away. Or sad and depressed.”
Ciccio said social media is not the right place to process emotions.
“When we engage in arguments online, we’re trying to control something we can’t control,” he said. “Arguing online is not productive.”
He urged people who are struggling to seek help.
“Definitely talk to a professional who can help you process where you are in this and what you’re focused on,” Ciccio said. “This is unimaginable. It’s tragic. Our minds can’t process what has happened.”
The Marblehead Counseling Center is poised and ready to help people through this tragedy, according to MCC President Ruth Ferguson.
“We have a set of clinicians who have been made aware of the situation and are prepared to help in any way possible,” Ferguson said.
Even though the center has a long waitlist, it can be flexible enough to help people emergently.
“We are constantly reviewing everything that comes in and assessing if this has signs of a real crisis or if this is something we can put back on the waiting list,” Ferguson said. “When it’s a crisis like this, there are ways to move things around.”
If you are trying to help someone struggling after the tragedy, the best thing you can do is listen, said MCC Chief Clinical Officer Marie Ouellette.
“Try to validate how people feel, that it’s really a hard time. It’s very important to listen to what they feel and give them a non-judgmental ear and talk about ways to cope,” Ouellette said.
Coping skills vary person to person but can include taking a walk to the ocean (or another favorite spot) and doing something that brings you joy, she noted.
At Marblehead High School at the Veterans School, grief counselors were on hand for two weeks to help students cope with tragedy. At a candlelight vigil on Aug. 24, about 300 people gathered at Devereux Beach to honor Gatchell’s memory and toss flowers into the waves.
Kids vs. adults
Kaplowitch offered this insight into how adults and children may be reacting differently.
“Adults often experience these stages (of grief) through reflection, questioning or seeking meaning, while also wrestling with feelings of guilt and helplessness,” she said. “Children, however, may not have the cognitive or emotional tools to process death in the same way; their grief often comes in bursts, showing up as sadness one moment and play or distraction the next.”
Kaplowitch continued, “While adults may need space to mourn, support groups and therapeutic outlets, children benefit from consistent routines, honest-but-age-appropriate explanations and reassurance that they are safe and loved. Coping involves permitting oneself to feel the full range of emotions, recognizing that grief is cyclical, and leaning on supportive connections. Professional guidance can help families honor both the shared and unique ways adults and children move through grief, fostering healing while holding space for enduring love and memory.”
Recommended resources:
National mental health hotline: 988
Marblehead Counseling Center: 781-631-8273 or marbleheadcounseling.org
Crisis Center of Essex County
The Compassionate Friends
Local hospitals’ bereavement programs
School counselors
Psychology Today offers a list of local clinicians taking new clients
