What can we do, each of us?
The country and the world will go on in the aftermath of the assassination attempt of former President Donald Trump. The calls for unity and lowering the temperature and stopping the hyperbolic rhetoric on both sides will fade. The first, then the second and then a cascade of commentators and elected officials will start again referring to Trump as an existential threat to our democracy. The phrase “This is our last election” will be uttered again.
Trump will revert to his own inciting rhetoric about our country being invaded by immigrants and the demeaning branding of opponents he excels at.
It’s all so predictable and depressing.
Or.
We can lead a civility revolution. Right here. In our own community. We can disagree loudly but respectfully. We can listen better. Refuse to demonize. We can assume good intentions. Read and debate in the letters section of our local nonprofit newspaper (self-promo here!). Check our tone on social media. We can solve, not blame. I’m betting most of you reading this are all in.
I’m also heartened by an initiative at the national level led by the National Governor’s Association called “Disagree Better.” I’m biased toward governors as leaders, having worked for two, and know there’s little room for demagoguery in the halls of state houses. The NGA is, by its nature, a bipartisan organization. That its members, Democrat and Republican alike, endorse finding strategies to engage with each other and constituents constructively, not destructively, with actual concrete tips — like don’t be afraid to be curious, focus on connection and let go of controlling the conversation — seems like a light shining at the end of our civic tunnel.
Volunteer firefighter Corey Comperatore brought his family to the Trump rally. When he heard the gunshots, he shoved his wife and daughter out of the way. He was killed saving their lives. This is what Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro had to say about him. “Corey was a girl dad. Corey was a firefighter. Corey went to church every Sunday. Corey loved his community. Most especially, Corey loved his family.”
When someone derisively dismisses a fellow citizen as “MAGA,” Comperatore is who they are talking about. He loved his country and thought the former president was the best choice to lead it. You don’t have to agree to respect and honor this neighbor, this girl dad, this fellow American, and by extension those labeled MAGA. It is the progressive left after all which has raised our consciousness about “othering” — treating others who look different or think different as alien from oneself. Isn’t the label “MAGA” as a criticism just another form of destructive othering?
Read “Hillbilly Elegy.” Before you form or hold on to your opinion about Trump’s running mate, Ohio Sen. J.D. Vance, you have an opportunity to get to know him and his worldview intimately. I don’t love his free trade and isolationist stances and he is pretty green on the national stage. But I remember when Barack Obama was first running for president that many similarly criticized his short tenure in office before taking the next leap. Yet, one editorial waxed on about the depth of thoughtfulness revealed in the two nonfiction books Obama had previously published.
The same can be said of Vance. His memoir is revealing about him and his heart, as well as about a part of the country which has suffered greatly. Memaw is a character, by the way, you will never forget.
One more reading recommendation. New York Times Magazine writer Taffy Brodesser-Akner’s piece, “The Kidnapping I Can’t Escape.” Ostensibly, the subject is about the 1970s-era kidnapping and survival of a Long Island executive. Through excavating the victim’s experience, and in particular his seemingly happy, accomplished life after, she hoped to discover some secret to moving on from her own, unrelated, traumatic experience. What she finds though is even more illuminating: “That after all your attempts at healing — when you finally realize that you are forever changed — you can allow yourself to embrace your trauma. You survive what happened to you, then you survive your survival, and then the gift you’re given is that you fall in love with your whole life, inextricable from the bad thing that happened to you.”
The assassination attempt on Donald Trump was traumatizing. For those at the rally, for the former president and his family, for those watching on TV, for elected officials at every level who fear for their safety. Perhaps for an older generation it harkened back to political violence in our past. For anyone with post-traumatic stress, the unexpected violence may have triggered a trauma response. I know it did for me. Double down on being kind, there’s a lot of rawness out there.
Finally, work hard to retain your sense of optimism. Former President George W. Bush kept a painting in the Oval Office of the sun rising in the east Texas sky. In a news interview I was a part of in 2005, we talked about the turmoil of those times and continued threats to our country. Bush pointed to the painting and paraphrased something he first said at the Republican convention in 2000. The painting, he said, was a reminder to “live on the east side of the mountain. It’s the sunrise side, not the sunset side. It is the side to see the day that is coming, not to see the day that has gone.”
Better days are coming. Let’s play a part in making them so.
Virginia Bucking lives in Marblehead and is president of the Current Board of Directors.
