It was a treat to read about the Buy Nothing Marblehead Facebook page here in the Current. So many people in Marblehead have benefitted from the items offered up as gifts on that page! I love that Buy Nothing is a national movement, geared toward folks in individual towns, and in many larger cities, individual neighborhoods.
During the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, we decided that if we were going to successfully “age in place” in our home, we needed to make repairs and upgrades, and, most of all, to “downsize” the belongings we’ve accumulated during our 40 years here.
The Magic Hat Thrift Shop has been our go-to donation spot for many years — we love that the sale of our donations goes to support activities and enrichment in the Marblehead Public Schools. But due to COVID-19, the Magic Hat was closed at first and then open at limited times and for a limited number of items.
I hadn’t paid much attention to the Buy Nothing page as I scrolled through friends’ postings on Facebook. But as I emptied cabinets, bureaus, shelves and wall units of things I did not want to return to those cabinets, bureaus, shelves and wall units, it dawned on me that here was an opportunity to make our no-longer-needed stuff available to people who could make good use of them. What a win-win.
We were amazed by how many people wanted our surplus furniture, linens, artwork, art supplies, appliances, pots and pans and other kitchenware. Because of the pandemic, we noticed that folks were very careful to minimize contact for pickups, and we respected that. We also made sure to note that our items came from a smoke-free/pet-free home, which seemed especially important to many people who were taking extra care to be safe.
My husband and I loved the adventure of it all — taking photos of the things we were offering on Buy Nothing, then watching as folks let us know that they would love to be considered for the gifts. Occasionally, we grew weary of itemizing everything and ended up putting together a collection of goods for a “sidewalk alert,” just asking people to be kind to each other as they sorted through our boxes. Mostly, they were more than kind, and we always received sincere thanks for the items we gifted.
So, I was shocked and dismayed when I read last month that the Marblehead Buy Nothing page had been suspended for a week to have members reflect on a discouraging incident. Not for the first time, apparently, a member of Buy Nothing was personally targeted and excoriated for being “piggy.” The self-appointed gift police and stalker (really, let’s call this what it is) decided that the member asked for too many gifts.
In another incident I learned about, the stalker went so far as to look up the assessed value of the Buy Nothing member’s home as evidence that they were too well-off to take gifts. Someone clearly has too much time on their hands and not enough room in their hearts.
Now, I must say that when I was regularly gifting things on Buy Nothing, I did notice that there were some names that popped up pretty regularly among those asking to be considered for gifts. Some of those “regulars” were folks I knew, most I didn’t. Essentially, I didn’t care to know much more from folks than that they’d give the item good use. After all, these were things we didn’t want any more. Some gifters on the page asked giftees to explain why they wanted an item, as if they needed to justify why they should receive the gift. Again, that wasn’t why I was there — I had stuff I didn’t need/want, and if you want/need it, it’s yours.
Those Buy Nothing incidents bring up another topic: hate. A lovely and wildly successful young woman very much in the public eye has endured so much hate that she’s written a song about it. In her words, you’ve got to “shake it off, shake it off.”
Sometimes, that’s not so easy, frankly. If I had Taylor Swift’s success and billions, I’m pretty sure I’d be able to shake off the haters who think that she is somehow destroying football. Never mind that her boyfriend’s team has sold hundreds of thousands of dollars in additional merchandise. Hardly matters a whit.
Hate has never been in short supply in the world, whether international or local. Yes, local for sure. There’s even a Facebook page that not only has the exact opposite mission of Buy Nothing; it seems to encourage hate. It’s hilarious, I think, that another Facebook page was founded by folks who’ve been banned by that other one.
I’ve been something of a public person throughout my career, working primarily for local newspapers read by local people and supervising public affairs for nonprofits that are lightning rods for some groups. I’ve attracted a bit of hate here and there. It comes with the territory, especially when you self-identify as liberal in this day and age. I’m well aware that there will always be Facebook commenters and letters to the editor writers who willfully misconstrue the meaning of an article or column because a few lines in it express an opinion that differs from theirs. Differences and differing opinions are sure to draw the ire of those who think their opinions are the only ones that matter.
I think I’ve made it clear that I’m no Pollyanna. But I hope that I can be open to a reasonably put thesis that may differ from mine. And I know that I’m not so consumed by hate that I look for what’s wrong in places that are trying to do good.
Let’s hope that Buy Nothing has seen the last of gift policing. It’s just not nice.
Marblehead resident Jo Ann Augeri Silva, a retired journalist, author, public relations professional and educator, was an editor of the Marblehead Reporter.
Jo Ann Augeri Silva
Marblehead resident Jo Ann Augeri Silva, a retired journalist, author, public relations professional and educator, was an editor of the Marblehead Reporter.
