Marblehead author Lisa Sugarman lost her father when she was just 10 years old. On Aug. 1, 1978, she came home from day camp to hear that he had died of a heart attack earlier that day.
It wasn’t for another 35 years that Sugarman learned the truth — that her dad had actually ended his own life in their home that day. Her mom had spared her that extra heartache, and Sugarman is grateful for that to this day.
Since learning the truth about her dad’s death 10 years ago, Sugarman has made it her mission to talk about it — about suicide, the loved ones left behind and the mental health crisis in America.
“It has permeated all the areas of my life,” Sugarman told the Current. “It revealed itself as my purpose, what I am meant to do in this world. I need to talk about mental illness and dilute the stigma of suicide to that point where it isn’t happening at the rate it’s happening now.”
According to the Centers for Disease Control, more people died by suicide in the United States last year than any other year on record. Close to 50,000 lives were lost due to intentional self-harm.That’s 14.9 deaths for every 100,000 Americans.
“The ripple effect of the family and friends impacted by each loss is incalculable,” Sugarman said.
After writing mainly about parenting for most of her career, Sugarman relaunched her website as a support for survivors of suicide loss and a resource for people struggling with mental health issues. She is a crisis counselor with The Trevor Project, a nonprofit organization focused on suicide prevention and crisis intervention for LGBTQ young people.
“I’ve been doing that just over a year,” she said. “I’ve only had the experience of being just so grateful whenever I pick up the phone and an overwhelming sense of gratitude when I hang up the phone. I’ve experienced the full range of what you can imagine… someone with a loaded gun in their hand, and I’m on for four hours de-escalating them, or people stressed out about tell their parents that they’re gay.”
She is also a storyteller with the National Alliance for Mental Illness, speaking to schools, police groups, religious organizations and emergency responders. She plans to reach out to interim Superintendent Theresa McGuinness about possibly speaking with Marblehead middle and high school students.
“As survivors of suicide loss, it’s our responsibility to help end the stigma of suicide and connect those who are struggling with the resources and support they need to give them hope,” she said.
Sugarman says teens are being hit especially hard by depression and anxiety right now.
Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among teens and young adults ages 10-34, according to the Centers for Disease Control. That means parents need to be hyper-vigilant about checking in with their kids about their mental health, Sugarman said. The way they do that is by creating a safe, non-judgmental space for their teens to talk openly and honestly about what’s going on inside their heads.
“It means being direct and asking the hard questions like, ‘Are you OK?’ or ‘Are you thinking of killing yourself?’ if you notice your child is withdrawn or struggling,” Sugarman said. “We need to be encouraging our kids to do the talking, and we need to get comfortable with listening to what’s on their minds.”
She continued, “I couldn’t save my dad. I was 10 and nobody knew, including my mom, what he was going through. I want to reach people before they make the decision to take their life by reminding them of organizations like the Samaritans or Trevor Project, Trans Lifeline.”
Sugarman creates short videos on her YouTube channel and TikTok (@thelisasugarman), and she is working on her latest book, a memoir about her father and his death.
“I want his story to be the vehicle for other people to share their stories,” she said.
To learn more about Sugarman’s work and for her list of resources, visit LisaSugarman.com.
